Posted by zahara on May 12, '08 10:12 PM for everyone
She thinks about the one-who-got-away. And what she could've she done to make him stay. She wonders whether it was the right thing to do---to keep distance, to accept that he isn't right for her. He makes her laugh and treats her with respect, she thinks that they hit it off just great. But society dictates it isn't right, to take what isn't yours. She decides she'd find someone as funny as him, as spontaneous as him, as adorable as him. She heaves a sigh, closes her eyes, and says good-bye...in her mind. Maybe not quite ready to say it out loud.
I wonder if she misses him or thinks about him a lot. I wonder if she thinks of the what-ifs and if she'd been more daring and less considerate. Would things have been different? I admire her, though, for her integrity and her self-control. I wish I could tell her she'd meet someone better. But I simply couldn't. Because I really do not know.
She flashes her smile. She seems perfectly fine. Everything's going great for her. They think her life is dandy.
I wonder how she feels. Really. How she feels without pretension, without the walls.
She goes out and has a blast. She's even seeing someone new. The guy looks great, gets along just fine, he seems to think that she's just perfect. That she has everything figured out. The look in his eyes say it all: he's falling for her.
I wonder if she feels the same way. If she'll ever fall for him. She seems very perceptive. But possibly there's something more to her outer silence. A battle of heart and mind, perhaps? I wonder if she'll ever let go of her pride...and herself.
She's got her plans, her BIG plans. She's on her way to success.
I wonder if that's what she really wants or even more if it's enough.
I often wonder what she's thinking when she finds herself alone. Sittingly quietly sipping coffee. I wonder if beneath her facade, she feels the way we feel, laughs the way we laugh, loves the way we love.
With the look on her face, I wonder what she's thinking.
** i got this from someone else's blog [monochrome_delirious].. this post has touched me on so many ways than one..
Posted by zahara on May 4, '08 8:44 AM for everyone
music by Greyhoundz (Battle Cry)
RF stands for “Rising Force”; a race vs. race conflict between three powerful race fighting for control over the rare minerals of the Talic mines. Set in Novus, a place where magic exists together with high technology. The Bellato and the Cora fight with arms and swords, as well as more modern equipment such as energy weapons and missiles. Meanwhile, the third race called Accretia, are cyborgs who have forsaken all flesh for the power of steel. Because of this, they have no access to magic, though their technology is superior to the others. Whichever race controls the mineral production of the Talic mines has control over the planet.
**the race i chose to join is Cora.. the one with pointy ears and have fairy-like features (no wonder).im still on the 30th level and i got to be honest when i saw this and other youtube RF videos, yikes! i felt ashamed.. made me wonder if i'll ever reach level 50. as of now, i haven't killed anyone coming from the other race. too hard. and my ultimate goal is meeting up with my sister Bhes (from accretia) and give her a smack down! haha.
my cora on the level 14, 20 and 27. dami pang bigas na kakainin!!
Posted by zahara on May 2, '08 9:34 PM for everyone
i was playing RF up until midnight when my mom told me to call it a night. there were a lot of cops and sundalo's on my neighbor's and thought something might be up, like they caught a housebreaker or something. like some nosy neighbor, we stuck our heads [me, mommy, bhes, bok and mia] on a window, hoping to catch some information but failed miserably.
and then the next morning we we're shocked by what we heard over the news.. OUR NEIGHBOR WAS KIDNAPPED..
they own a lot of cellphone stores here in Cotabato and have tons of cars sitting on their garage. they have a nice mini-mansion and their children is a regular on our net cafe. kids like to befriend them because they always get libre hehhe. hay.. the price of being rich.. i hope everything'll turn out fine and catch the culprits. and i would hate the thought of KIDNAPPING once again being uso here in the city of bombs and chaos..
Posted by zahara on Apr 17, '08 10:34 PM for everyone
You Are Classical Music
You are a somewhat serious person who enjoys studying subjects deeply. Art of all kinds interests you, and a good piece of art can really effect you emotionally. You are inspired by human achievement, and you appreciate work that takes years to accomplish. For you, the finer things in life are not about snobbery - they're about quality.
You fit in best with people born between 1943 and 1960. You are optimistic, rebellious, and even a little self centered. You still believe that you will change the world. You detest authority and rules. Deep down, you're a non conformist.
When it comes to love, you have fairly normal ideas and expectations. Your relationships and ideas may be a bit quirky at times... But you see love the same way as most people do.
Why You Are Normal in Love
You are normal because you don't kiss on the first date.
You are normal because you believe a long distance relationship can work.
Why You Aren't Normal in Love
You are abnormal because you believe people only have one soulmate.
You are abnormal because you had your first boyfriend or girlfriend after you were 14.
You're contemplative, thoughtful, and very intense. Taking time to figure out the meaning of life is a priority for you. Because you're so introspective, you often react in ways that surprise people. No one can really understand how you are on the inside... and that disturbs them.
You're unpredictable, moody, and downright freaky. You seem sweet and harmless, until you snap. Then you're a total monster. Very few people can predict if you're going to be Dr. Jekyll or Mr. Hyde. But for you, all your transformations seem perfectly natural.
Your greatest power: Your ability to tap into nature
But it's pretty obvious that a small part of you isn't over your ex yet. It's time to give yourself some space from him - being friends is not going to work right now. So stay away from your ex for now... before he turns you into a psycho!
You're direct and to the point, but never dramatic You've got the confidence to speak your mind to anyone But you leave the theatrics to Hollywood Level headed and emotionally stable, no wonder everyone loves you
Like most sane women, you want a great guy who will treat you well. But you're also willing to put up with a few flaws in your Mr. Right You should congratulate yourself on having a realistic approach to dating. You probably have quite a few great guys you can date!
Sometimes you're social - sometimes you're shy You've got a bit of an Introvert / Extrovert split going on You enjoy all sorts of situations. Parties, small groups, and alone time. Too much of one, and you'll long for the other. You need variety! Chances are, you've got both serious and fun friends - and they don't get along.
You tend to be pretty insecure, even though you may not realize it. All that jealousy you feel? Well, that's your insecurities showing up in the worst possible way. Bottom line, you don't give yourself enough credit. People do like to be around you. Work on your self worth a little, and you'll be surprised how much better you'll feel.
You may be supermodel gorgeous or a plain Jane. It really doesn't matter, because you're confident and secure. You don't go out looking like a slob, but you are low maintenance. You have better things to worry about than whether your nails are the right shade!
Girl, who do you think you're fooling? Your ex isn't play hard to get. He's playing, "Get the hell out of my life" So even if you still have feelings for him... It's time to say adios and find a new man
Bit of a drama queen Peacemaker, first to end a fight Good at thinking up creative dates Tend to fall in love and get hurt easily Going with your gut instead of your head Empathetic and caring, sometimes to a fault Good at recognizing patterns in relationships Been in love many times, perhaps too many to count Wildly passionate and intense when falling in love Spontaneous with relationships, going with the flow Overly visual - can play back past dates like movies in your mind Roses, love poems, and stuffed animals are a good start to winning your heart
Girl next door with a free spirit. You're low key and naturally sexy. Sweet and approachable, people are attracted to your upbeat attitude. And even when life doesn't go your way, you always eventually turn things around.
Crafty and creative, you are able to adapt freely to almost any situation. People tend to underestimate you, unless they've truly seen what you are capable of. Deep down, you're always scheming and thinking up new plans. Your mind is constantly active. You are quite capable of anything you dream of. You can always figure out a way to get what you want.
You can wrap a rock person up in your sheet of trickery.
A scissor person can sneak up and cut you to pieces.
When you fight: No one can anticipate your next move
If someone makes you mad: You'll attack them mercilessly when they're unprepared
Generally, you're an average woman, with average moods. But sometimes... well, watch out! Sometimes, you let your mean side get the better of you. And you enjoy every minute of it.
Your mind is incredibly cluttered. You have so much going on in there, it's hard to think straight. Consider talking to a therapist. It's a good idea to sort through your thoughts, if only to see which ones are worth hanging on to.
You are definitely super charged, and your energy is infectious! Your mania is something to be proud of. You wouldn't be you without it. Just make sure not to give into that self destructive streak of yours.
Your life can be a bummer at times, but you're on the right track. You may need new friends, a new place to live in, or a new job... But most of all, you need a new outlook. You are your own worst enemy. Start being thankful for what you have - and start working for what you don't.
and was having a blast pretending i was Bush kicked out from the white house but had found joy in making hot dogs and burgers catering to all kinds of people and even aliens...
Posted by zahara on Mar 28, '08 11:06 AM for everyone
honestly, the reason im doing this tag "just now" is because when april sent it to me, i didn't know what to do with it.. it's like "im tagged. so what do i do with it?" and i was so embarrassed to ask april because im always pestering her with lots of questions on how to tweak my friendster profile and stuff.. april you're such a dearie to me!! thank you for the tags!!
Circle of Friends tag
Anger is only one letter short of danger. If someone betrays you once, it is his fault; If he betrays you twice, it is your fault. Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. He, who loses money, loses much; He, who loses a friend, loses much more; He, who loses faith, loses all. Beautiful young people are accidents of nature, But beautiful old people are works of art. Learn from the mistakes of others. You can’t live long enough to make them all yourself. Friends, you and me…You brought another friend…And then there were 3…We started our group…Our circle of friends…And like that circle…There is no beginning or end…Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is mystery. Today is a gift....
Posted by zahara on Mar 27, '08 9:37 AM for everyone
~~Begin Copy~~ I have randomly selected other bloggers below to be tagged and I hope that you will similarly publish this post in your blog. You will have to add your link in the end of the list and tag other bloggers and just keep adding on to the list. (Do not replace, just keep on adding Tag others . This is the easy way and the fastest way to:
1. Make your Authority Technorati explode. 2. Increase your Google Page Rank fast. 3. Get more traffic to your blog. 4. Makes more new friends. 5. Build your community.
Rules: 1. Start copy from “Begin Copy” until “End Copy” to your blog. (for bloggers paste on the “compose” not the “edit html” part in posting blogs so it will be linked automatically). 2. Put your own blog name and link. 3. Tag your friends as much as you can.
Posted by zahara on Mar 25, '08 3:48 AM for everyone
*A Scattered Memory Entry Part II*
you know what used to make my semesters back in college despite being away from cable tv's, good home food and safe drinking water? a mixtape jam packed with my favorite alternative classics. and now seven years later, im now into a more ambient, contemporary girly girl music, it still is a treat idling with some my old faves every now and then.. here are some of my favorite alternative songs that i had stack in a mix tape seven years back. and the tape playlist from myflashfetish couldn't make it more dramatic! Enjoy backtracking!!! (PS: the player could take long to download depending on your connection,, have patience)
SONGS 1. Another Perfect Day- American Hi-Fi 2. Bad Day -Fuel 3. Sick Of Myself 4. If I Could Talk I'd Tell You-Lemmonheads 5. Take A Picture- Filter 6. You Wanted More 7. Stranger By the Day- Shades Apart 8. Tea and Sympathy- Jars Of Clay 9. Turn My Head- Live 10.Sex and Candy- Marcy Playground 11.I Miss You- Incubus 12.Bite Your Tongue-Duncan Sheik 13.Forgiveness- Collective Soul
Posted by zahara on Mar 24, '08 1:40 AM for everyone
(an entry originally posted on Multiply)
been busy lately exchanging links with my fellow bloggers in Blogger.com..
hay.. guys, if you want your blog to get noticed.. join us in LINKS AROUND THE WORLD TAG and im sure you'll get the attention you'll need.. heheh at least i did..
Posted by zahara on Mar 21, '08 11:01 PM for everyone
my head is actually caterwauling right now. every time i watch awe-inspiring movies about life and love,why is it that i always end up feeling like my life is so pressingly dim. how did i really do for the last 23 years? have i been really living my life? did i really even try? *** i just watched Elizabethtown on HBO. must have been the blue sky, or the trees, the music played during the road trip or the wind blowing on Orlando Bloom’s face when he rolled down the window of his car, but it made me remember one of the scattered bits of my scanty unforgettable moments of my life..
***
Dancing in the Moonlight
It was our last night in Boracay. We were there on a field trip on Tourism. I was with friends Toing, Abu, Mickey, and if my memory serves me right, Ren-Ren and mama Frau was with us too. Since Toing and I practically spent the whole trip moping and groping about the usual “problems of the heart”, we decided to skip sleep off and spend all night wandering away gadding the long stretch of the beaches and just relish on the beauty it unfurls. So we passed by an open bar. It was already passed midnight. The tides are low, and the sky was glistening with stars. The music coming from the bar was loud and we were dancing on the beach like nobody was watching.. well nobody really is watching anyway. It was perfect.
***
This will be my first Scattered Memeories entry. Hopefully id remember and be able to post some of my other unforgettable experiences in my life, to at least remind me that I have been living my life, and yes, I can be fun too..haha
Posted by zahara on Mar 12, '08 5:22 AM for everyone
funny how i blog about everything here without qualm of being judged or disfavored. i guess there's truth to what they say, that sometimes its much easier to talk to a complete stranger rather than people whom you've known your whole life, kinda like bartenders. i dont personally know anyone here in multiply. and what i wrote here, i never dared in my friendster blogs. i have 5 blogs by the way, 2 from friendster, 1 from myspace, 1 from blogger and 1 from multiply. and everything i write here autimatically gets posted on blogger. how cool is that? so bear with me and hear me cry my heart out..
Posted by zahara on Mar 9, '08 11:35 AM for everyone
it feels kinda strange reading blogs about how axious and thrilled everyone is for the upcoming final exams. i've been there, and yup, im getting really old. although im kind of relieved im never going to have to go through it, ever again, i must admitt there's this one tiny part of me, that misses all that hassle and puzzle called "the finals". ahhhh.. i really miss MSU, soooo much. MSU you so much...
anyway, i just had my CS exam this morning. cant really say i did bad, i was able to answer a couple of kick-ass questions too, but geez, the vocubulary... way too hard for my level.. hahaha.. and im kinda worried too about how the computers evaluate our answers. they're very strict on how to shade the boxes completely, or else the computer would invalidate the answer. BAHALA NA SI BATMAN
Posted by zahara on Mar 8, '08 9:18 AM for everyone
never felt like this in a long long time.. probably because i've been a tambay way too long after graduating from college that something simple as "taking CS exams" amounts to the jitters that i felt during my Feasibility Studies defense. guess i'll just update you guys what comes out of it (have a bad feeling about it hahaha).. wish me luck!
Posted by zahara on Mar 6, '08 2:41 AM for everyone
From Maricel of http://wmaricelt.blogspot.com. Let us all help each other out by doing each and everyone a little favor... Building our Technorati ranks and probably our Google page rank! How? By doing this tag! ^_^
I am making this not only to build up my own blog, but of course, to build up yours as well! So tag along, and lend us your helping hands.
Disclosure: The image was gotten from a very informative site about parenting: more4kids.info
****
**start copying here**
LINKS AROUND THE WORLD TAG
Instruction: 1. Place your link after the list. If you have more than 1 blog, feel free to add them all here! 2. After placing your blog’s address/es, you must tag 5 or more bloggers that is not yet in the list, this is to keep the ball rolling. 3. Here is the best part: Make sure to update your list every now and then, by getting the master list here. I’ll be updating the master list every day, or as soon as I see a new blog that’s been added to the list. ^_^
Posted by zahara on Mar 5, '08 12:11 AM for everyone
yey!!! just imported all my blogs from blogger im loving it here! thanks for adding me.. hope to meet more new friends and get to pry on some pipol's lives too =)
Posted by zahara on Mar 3, '08 2:08 AM for everyone
****imported from my friendster blog
these tiny icons are driving me crazy... they're kinda like pieces of me in all different angles and sides, scattered and stretched all over!
-
LOVE...
i think relationships are nice. i love hugs and kisses. dates. and of course pain and heartbreaks are always there.. and still can't wait to give MORE love!
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LIFE...
What life for me is, hmmmm... the sun and rain reminds me of life. DREAMS (got loads of 'em). FREEDOM (now that's what im lacking). BETTER DAYS (it could either be spending quality time with your family, sweethearts, picnics on the parks, going to the beach, working and having a blast at the same time, anything and everything that cause someone to smile. being able to stop and smell the flowers.
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GIRLY...
like any typical girl, i love sweets. pink. bright colors. i certainly love to pose (haha). i love flip flops. and even if we suddenly burst our hearts out or cry over some petty things, we are not dumb (at least not me! haha). bitchiness can't be avoided too =)
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FAIRYTALE...
i guess im also like this little girl who still believes in fairytales and happy endings.
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MUSIC...
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MOOD SWINGS...
lots of sighs. the occasional roller coaster of a ride. the tiny voice that's hissing at the back of your mind. the one that wouldn't go away.
